With the possible exception of the time of the Soccer World Cup, this is the first time that I have felt excited about being South African since President Thabo Mbeki was thrown out for being aloof.
(Parenthesis: it’s interesting how easily one can lose one’s job for being A LOOF, and yet it’s difficult to be fired for being A FOOL. I guess it’s all in the spelling).
Finally, I feel not quite so much like the (global) village idiot for choosing to remain in the land of my birth, unlike so many people who have chosen otherwise (SMWP—statement made without prejudice). I had my chance thirty years ago—in 1988–9. Another RSA President was showing some reluctance to stand down, and I decided that, for the good of my young family (and myself), we should depart. I had a job arranged in another southern hemisphere country (hint: “south” in Latin is “australis”) where I felt that we could settle. When it came to the crunch, we decide that we belonged here, and cancelled the whole sortie. The following year our decision was vindicated and we celebrated our wedding anniversary watching Madiba being released from prison.
I’d love to say that we have never had cause to regret that decision since. No, sorry, it has come back to haunt us quite frequently. However, yesterday’s events have helped me to feel more positive again.
To conclude, I’d like to address a few remarks to our new President – Matamela Cyril Ramaphosa.
Ndaa! You are only 113 days older than I am (and slightly more wealthy!), so I don’t feel that it’s inappropriate for me to give you some advice. I hate to admit this, but, while you were in your matric year, I was in the SADF, learning to kill people like you (i.e. “non-white”); I’ll probably never get that off my conscience. I’m trying to write a book about it, but I keep bursting into tears, so I’m getting through a lot of keyboards.
- Stick to your principles – remember, Madiba saw something important in you. See it in yourself;
- Always remember: you are “servus servorum”—“the servant of the servants”;
- But you are not our slave—you are President because you have skills that we (hoi polloi—I also enjoy Greek) do not have;
- If you can stamp out corruption in Mzansi, then most of the battle will have been won;
- Don’t ignore our past—it’s what defines us as a people in the 21st century;
- Remember that many people are looking to you to make this a land of which we can once again feel proud;
- There is a lovely saying in Latin (you’ve probably already spotted my love for Latin): “festina lente”. It means, literally, “make haste slowly”—I don’t have to tell you what that means.
- Remember the great leadership maxim: “If you get too far ahead, you start to look like the enemy”;
- Please change the name of our country! I’m so tired of explaining to foreigners that “South Africa” is a political entity, not a geographical location, like South America. Mzansi would be cool, but I suppose that Azania will be the first choice. Fine, it gets us near the front in the Olympics opening ceremony;
- And, finally, use your influence to get Google Translate to include tshiVenda (I’ve really battled, because the only Venda words I know are Ndaa and Aa).
Hosi katekisa Afrika! (Sorry, I know that’s Xitsonga, but that’s the language that I love).
Your (generally) obedient servant (as are you mine!),
Kevin.